What’s Your Parenting Style?

The following questionnaire is divided into two parts with fifteen statements each.

Part I is designed to help you identify your beliefs about being a parent.

Part II focuses on your current home situation.

As you read each statement, decide how much you agree with it. Then choose the number from 1 to 5 that corresponds to your level of agreement:

Interpreting your scores:
The highest combined score possible for each style is 50. The higher your score, the more you tend toward the style of parenting. Your highest combined score, therefore, suggests the style of parenting you are currently using. If either of the other combined scores is within fifteen points of your highest score, consider your use of the two styles about equal. The greater the difference among scores, the greater your current preference for the style with the highest score.
Differences of more than fifteen points between belief scores and action scores for any style suggest that you tend to believe one thing, but do another. Do not be alarmed by this. It is common and understandable.

High Autocratic Score – If you’re like most people, you’ll find yourself more autocratic than you thought you were. But after all, this was the predominant style parents used when you were growing up. If you scored highest on this style, you probably find yourself in frequent battles with your child. Anger and frustration probably characterize the power struggles that you and your child experience. You are probably reading this web page to find some relief, as well as a more successful approach.

High Permissive Score – In an attempt to avoid being autocratic, you may have overcompensated and developed a permissive style. If you are in this group, your relationship with your child may be pretty good as long as you do what your child wants. But you probably find that your child gets very hostile, and perhaps even throws tantrums, when you do say no or make a demand of him or her. Your relationship is characterized by service and pleasing, but only in one direction. You may have already begun to resent this unfairness. If so, you probably scored higher on the autocratic scale than you expected. It is easy to get fed up with a permissive approach and flip back to an autocratic one.

High Active Score – If you scored highest on the active style, your relationship with your child is probably already positive. Though problems certainly occur, an atmosphere of mutual respect, trust, and teamwork enables you to handle them without the hurt or resentment that characterize the other styles. You are probably using many of the methods advocated and taught in Active Parenting courses at this website. Our goal is to support your efforts and help you discover other compatible techniques.

* The Active style is sometimes called the “Authoritative” or “Democratic” style. © Active Parenting Publishers. All rights reserved. Permission granted to reprint this Parenting Quiz for use in parenting groups. Reprints must include Active Parenting’s name and contact information (800-825-0060 and www.ActiveParenting.com).