How much relationship exists between a parent and a trapeze artist? Well, much more than you think.
A trapeze artist can not afford to make unnecessary mistakes while performing – a wrong step will smash him right on the ground. Similarly, a parent cannot afford to make unnecessary mistakes while parenting – a wrong action can have dire consequences.
Your role as a parent is a very crucial one. Why? It’s simple: you determine how the future is going to look like. A thriving society is a society of good and effective parenting. You simply can’t get rid of that correlation.
However, as humans, we tend to make mistakes without even realizing it. Many parents commit a lot of parenting sins because they’re not aware. So, here are 3 dangerous things you must totally avoid as a parent.
- Giving too much to your kid:
There’s no doubt that we love our kids. We love to please and make them happy, we love to see the smiles on their innocent faces, and we love to provide them with utmost care. But we often go beyond bounds to establish our love and feelings for them. One of such extremes is giving too much.
There’s a very thin line between care and carelessness. We often prove to our kids that we care by giving things to them, even if that means getting careless about it.
While giving enough (money, toys, gadgets) to them may be okay, giving too much will cause more harm than you can imagine. These harms range from ingratitude, to obsession with things, to feelings of ownership, and to covetousness.
There have been extreme cases where children have already developed these behaviors and are threatening their parents if they refuse to get them more things. If your child has gotten to this stage, we recommend he/she meets with a counselor. You can request for Counseling here > https://www.brainyeducare.com/sign-up/ ( Email: firstname.lastname@example.org )
2. Doing things you warn them against.
Children learn best, not by listening to your instructions, but by watching your actions. Whether or not you realize, your child views you as his/her model. They instantly believe that what you do is the correct one, after all you’re the parent.
Worse than modeling the wrong behaviors to your kids, is doing what you’ve warned them against.
You walk around the house making noise with the gum in your mouth, yet you expect your child to stop chewing gum.
You use vulgar words when speaking to your friends on phone, yet you expect your kids to stop using these words.
You spend your entire time on phone, yet you complain about your son’s addiction to the video game.
Your children won’t stop doing something you haven’t stopped doing. You must work on yourself before working on them.
3. Attacking their personality.
If your kid does something wrong, condemn the action/behavior not the child. Oftentimes, parents go to the extreme of labeling children when they do something wrong.
Probably because of the way the parent was parented, he/she has grown to believe that labelling and personality attacks are the ways to stop a bad action.
It’s okay to say “what you did is bad.” It’s not okay to say “you are a bad child.”
Giving labels like “bad child”, “stubborn child”, “fool”, “stupid child”, makes the child start believing you. The child begins to see himself as stupid or foolish, and he lives his whole life with that belief.
Before you label your child, ask yourself if you’ll be pleased if he/she was that kind of person.
One way to ensure that you don’t smash your head on the ground by taking the wrong step is to ensure you don’t take the wrong steps. Before you react, ask yourself if what you’re doing will make your child better or are you just playing out the scripts handed over to you since childhood?
How would you know what actions to avoid and which ones to embrace? Check out our Services for Parents > https://www.brainyeducare.com/sign-up/ ( Email: email@example.com )
Written by: Al-ameen Abolare